Don’t Be A Tourist (Part 1) – At the Airport & On Board

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In my experience, there are two main groups of people who travel – Tourists and Travelers.

Tourists are those whom you notice the most because they’re usually loud, inconsiderate, unprepared for pretty much any eventuality, and have little interest in anything other than their tan.

Travelers, on the other hand, tend to pay attention when attention is warranted, are prepared when needed, and are generally interested in their surroundings, the people and the culture of the place they’re visiting.

 

This series of tips is designed to help you make sure that you sit firmly within the ‘traveler’ camp when you next go on vacation.

Ways To Avoid Being a Tourist at the Airport and Onboard:

1) Before leaving home have a think about how you’re dressed. You’re going to be going through airport security, so do you really think that wearing all that jewelry is a good idea? Those machines you have to walk through aren’t stargates to another dimension, they’re there to detect metal (amongst other things) so what do you think is going to happen when you walk through them with your four rings, seven bangles and ten chains? Your popularity with fellow passengers will not rise as you have to take each and every item off.

Would you want to be behind him at TSA?

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2) When checking in don’t try to avoid baggage fees by taking as much as you can as carry on – you’re sharing the plane with quite a few other people all of whom would like some overhead locker space, too. Either pack lighter (did you really need to bring two coats for your trip to Hawaii?), or pay to check your bag(s).

3) When you get to the end of the TSA line have your ID and boarding card ready for inspection – this is not the time to start fishing around in your bags while holding everyone else up. You’ve been in line for 20 minutes – what else did you have to do?!

4) When you’re walking to the gate with your family, resist the temptation to walk your clan abreast of each other. I’m sure you think it’s nice for you all to walk hand-in-hand, but your fellow passengers aren’t enjoying it as much. They have gates to go to, too, and blocking the concourse as you do an impression of the Von Trapp family isn’t endearing you to anyone.

Good for photo shoots….not so much for walking down the concourse at airports

5) At the gate: When the agent calls First Class to board that isn’t a signal for you, in seat 34C, to rush the jet bridge – unsurprisingly it’s a signal for First Class to board. It’s really not that complicated.

6) When you get on the plane, try to remember that the numbers system hasn’t magically changed in the 10 minutes it’s taken you to board. The rows at the front will be low numbers, so row 34 will be a little way back. Peering at the row numbers the second you board (and holding everyone up) just makes you look numerically illiterate.

7) Once on board find somewhere to store your hand baggage…but not in the first empty overhead bin you find. Your bin should be in the vicinity of your seat and that doesn’t make it the bin you’re eyeing up above row 3. That bin is meant for whomever has the seat under it and they’re probably going to need it.

8) While making your way to your seat I’m sure it’s convenient to have that large, heavy, over-sized bag slung over your shoulder, but you’re not making any friends with each and every passenger you hit in the head as you walk down the aisle. Try carrying the bag in front of you.

9) If you find yourself seated in the middle of a row and separated from your family, that’s truly bad luck. By all means, see if someone is willing to swap with you, but bear one thing in mind: A centre seat is a bad seat for everyone and not just for you, so don’t get angry when the guy with an exit row aisle seat refuses to swap with you. If I was him/her I’d refuse to swap with you, too, and throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your own way just makes you look ridiculous.

Even when empty those middle seats look terrible!

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10) Once in the air I’m sure it’s a relief that you can take your eyes of your kids for a while – after all, they’re in a sealed pressurised metal/composite tube at thirty five thousand feet so where can they go? Easy. They’re running up and down the aircraft knocking into every poor soul in an aisle seat! I have no doubt that your kids are truly lovely and adorable, but the rest of us don’t care at this point. Right now they’re Public Enemy No.1 so how about getting them to sit down?

11) We all know that air travel isn’t always the most interesting of experiences so it’s nice to be able to catch up with friends and family who are travelling with you. The thing to bear in mind is that the rest of us on the plane don’t want to share that catch up with you. We really don’t care about your kidney stones or that “Maggie is now seeing Geoff from next door”. Have some consideration for the rest of us and keep your voice somewhere below fog horn level and we’ll all get along just fine.

12) Know your own bladder. If you know you’re prone to having to use the facilities more than most, then book an aisle seat! I know it’s nice to see the view on take off and landing but the rest of the time, all you’ll see are clouds (trust me, I’ve checked!). Show some consideration for the person you’d be climbing over (every hour!) if you book a window seat, forgo your ten minutes of views and give yourself access to the aisle.

13) Don’t slam down your seat back when you go to recline your chair. There’a a very good chance that the person behind you has laptop open or a glass of very average (but better than nothing!) wine on their table. They’re no different from you and I, so they’re not that keen on having their electronics thrown to the floor or having their wine deposited in their lap – if you have to recline, then do it slowly.

14) If you were one of the last to board, there’s a very good chance that one of the cabin crew will have to stow your hand luggage some distance from your seat (blame this on the number of people who ignore point #2). There’s an equally good chance that your bag is somewhere behind your row. With this in mind, when the plane lands, don’t leap out of your seat and start scrambling to the back of the plane. There will be a good number of people behind you trying to get their bags out of the overhead bins and your impression of a salmon heading upstream to spawn isn’t impressing anyone. Accept your bad luck, stay in your seat and wait for the rear of the plane to empty – it’s called being patient.

Don’t Be A Tourist (Part 2) – At Your Destination